When lunch gets a little too lean

This is a 150 calorie Lean Cuisine after mixing the broccoli in with the beef. This little section can hold all of the food. This is why folks get discouraged when trying to lose weight. You ask yourself why you are still hungry after eating one of these. You think this should be enough for lunch. Yeah right, if you are in grade school or had bariatric surgery. I'm eating a banana when I'm done. SMH.

Clear liquids: Day 1

Started off the morning (although late) with a hot cup of beef broth. It isn't the most flavorful. My natural inclination would be to add salt, but that is why I have high blood pressure. Oh well. I need to adjust to food with adding salt anyway. I will tackle some light apple juice next.

The day before the 2-day clear liquids

You would think that I would pigging out today, but I'm not. I'm not that interested in food. Tomorrow I start two days of a clear liquid diet before surgery. And I'm actually ok with that. I plan to take some full length before pictures tomorrow.

The last tango

For the last month or so, I have felt the need to say goodbye to some things. All of which are certain foods. I know that once I have the gastric bypass, the real work begins.

This is a life line. A tool. A chance. I plan to take it very seriously, but as the saying goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." And I have the best intentions.

I have no doubt that this is the right thing to do. The only thing I doubt is me. I have lied to myself and made excuses so long I can't honestly tell if I believe in me anymore. I would like to say that I have reached the point where enough is enough. And it is. But is that enough?

I know that some of these doubts are fueled by fear. Some are a result of my track record. Some by all of the stress in my life right now.

I am scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. Once the surgeon is done, I know that it will my turn to pick up the scalpel to carve out a new life for myself.

Day 2: Countdown to gastric bypass

I couldn't bring myself to try the New Direction Vanilla Pudding for lunch after having a light breakfast. I was starving. I will have to try these at home over the weekend. I still haven't stood on the scale to assess the damage.