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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Today, I watch the first four episodes of She-Ra on Netflix via the Wii I got for Christmas. Brings back memories of when I wished our bus drivers would quit stopping in the middle of the street to chat with her friends so I could get home to watch He-Man and She-Ra after school.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Check your message

Why do people have voicemail if they never bother to check it. They just rely on the caller ID to call you back to find out what you wanted. Well I told you what I wanted when I left the voicemail. Darn it, I can't remember what I wanted two minutes ago. Obviously, it was important enough for me to leave a detailed message. If you know me at all, you know that my short term memory is nonexistent. Catch me in a day or two when I remember again or just check the voicemail. LOL

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

A time for gratitude

Today, I had a good cry. Not because I was sad or in pain, but because I was happy, awe-struck, grateful and humbled. For more than 10 years, I have struggled with my health and with living in chronic pain and fatigue. To a certain degree, it has robbed me of so much — my joy, my spirit, my will to overcome and my life.

I prayed, I questioned, I tried to educate others, and sometimes I was on the verge of giving up. There were times that I felt like family and friend offered little to no support and sometimes their advice was counterproductive.

There were times I needed a hug, a friendly ear, or a hand to hold and it wasn’t there. Don’t get me wrong, this is not to say I received no support, I did get some, and that was enough to help me get through it. Part of the problem was that I didn’t know how to reach to let someone know I was in need. Sometimes, people do not understand the devastating impact illnesses that are not life threatening can have on your life.

I am not writing this to simply rehash the past or to make any feel sorry for me. I simply want to share with you where I have been so that you can comprehend where I am today.

For the past two weeks or so, I have been feeling great! I almost feel as well as that woman I use to be in her early twenties before any signs of illness surfaced. I am so grateful; I honestly sat in my office balling for past 10 minutes thanking the Lord for what he done for me.

A simple thing like taking the stairs pain free is a big deal for someone like me. I have literally been running up and down the stairs all day.

I am not going to focus on if or how long this will last. All I know is that this is a blessing and it would be wrong of me not give the Lord credit and to share my testimony with others. I am trying to be a good steward of the gifts I have been given. I have long way to go, especially with stewardship over taking care of my body and keeping a clean house. LOL

For those of you who have prayed for me and supported me — thank you. Your prayers and support are still needed. I hope my message will inspire you to be thankful for the blessing in your life. And when something marvelous comes your ways, share the good news.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Does anyone under 50 wear Fashion Fair makeup?

I went to MAC this weekend to spice up my makeup color palette and to replenish supplies. Although I don't have buyer's remorse (ok maybe I do, I did overdo it), it never occurred to me to check out what is new at the Fashion Fair counter. When my Aunt Winnie introduced me to makeup as part of my entre into being professional-looking working woman (pantyhose and slips -- yuck), she took me to the Fashion Fair counter. But honestly, I don't think I know anyone who wears it. So here is my question. If you are a black woman who wear makeup, do you wear Fashion Fair? If not, why not?

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I woke up this morning and decided to send a Happy Father’s Day text to all of the good fathers that I knew. Later it dawned on me that there are too many mothers that I know who serve as both mother and father to their children. It makes me sad that this has become all too common. To all of the moms who are doing it by themselves, keep your head up, ladies.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Confessions of a chronic enabler

Sometimes the choices others make have a devastating impact on our lives especially when “the others” are people we love. We are conditioned to be there for our loved ones, even when it takes us to the breaking point. It is easy to blame them for being self-centered while we see ourselves as self sacrificing. But it isn’t that simple. Often times we share the guilt by enabling others to continue in their selfish behavior because we have yet to draw a line in the sand and say “you have gone this far but no further.” We worry that we may be seen as the selfish ones, even though we are not the immediate source of grief and misery.

Recently, a dear friend stopped by and over a glass or two of wine, we shed some tears and laughed, but more importantly we talked about the changes we need to make in ourselves to stem this tide. She and I have had to learn the hard way that once you give an inch, in no time you are giving a mile. Before you know it, your life is taken over by someone else’s problems and there is little room for you to deal with your own. Life becomes a series of someone else crises and the superhero cape you once wore is now threadbare from the borage of other people’s drama.
Today I had a lesson in procrastination. I had a small garage fire. I had been saying that I need to get a fire extinguisher. I need to put my fire alarms back up. I need to clean out my garage. I need to get my house in order — physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. There are things that I have been procrastinating about when it comes to dealing with other people’s nonsense. I need to clean house.

My sister once commented that I am always in the planning mode and not in the doing mode. She is right. I am a planner. I have to think things through, sometimes to my own detriment. Sometimes, I am just afraid to act, afraid to fail or afraid to be wrong. I now long want to live in a spirit of fear. For the first time in my 36 years, I want to live for me and consider my needs, wants and desires first. Because if I don’t, who will?

I grew up believing that this attitude is selfish and un-Christ-like. We often think of Christ as a meek little lamb who preached turning the other cheek. We often forget that he also didn’t tolerate nonsense. If you don’t believe me, read how he “set it off” at the temple when he saw the moneychangers desecrating holy ground. Well, enough meek and mild. It is time I set it off.

To my friends out there, who like me, have been tolerating other people’s nonsense; when you have finally had enough, take a stand in your own lives. I am not advocating changing who you are. Nor am I advocating abandoning a giving spirit. I am advocating self love. We all need to treat ourselves better.
The reason I wrote this is because I know there are others out there who are just like me — chronic enablers or complete pushovers who are trying to help others who aren’t helping themselves. Well ladies and gentlemen, it is time to stop. We have been doing more harm than good. Although we all should give a helping hand, we should not allow others to grow dependant on it.