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Monday, January 31, 2011

Ok so I cheated and I am hungry

This past Saturday, I had a coke. Truth be told, it wasn't all that great. I working on cutting back on portion sizes but I am starving. This isn't psychological hunger. I am hungry. I just had two slices of pizza. My stomach is still growling. I think to myself, surely a small would be able to eat two slices and be satisfied, so what is wrong with me? Does the body look at colories or volume. It finished the pizza 20 miniutes and it is like I have eaten a thing. Does someone know if this is a result of stretching my stomach or do I have an unrealistic view of what average size person could eat and be satified with? My perspective could be off. I had a sandwich, chips and an apple for lunch, cereal for breakfast and I have been hungry throughout the day. This is a bunch of bull.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Damn, I want a coke

I have been struggling to get over my addiction to Coca-Cola for years. So I am giving it ago again. I slipped over the weekend (just once). This is so sad. I had my nephew pick up a coke last night when he went to the store. I called him while at work and told him to hide it or drink and that if I ever ask him to get one, bring back juice or iced tea. At least I am not walking around with the shakes. At least, not yet.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My weight loss surgery journey begins

I’ve never been the type of person who wanted to be thin. I look at models and think that perhaps their faces are pretty but their bodies have no shape. Women are supposed to have curves; they are not supposed to look like prepubescent boys. I started out as one of those thin kids. I remember that all of my jeans had to be slim, not regular. Then puberty kicked in and so did my genes, a decrease in activity level and bad eating habits.

At 37, I am now plagued with a slew of health issues, which I will list, many of which are caused by or exacerbated by obesity. Yes, the big “O.” I have never had a problem acknowledging that I was fat. Even when people told me that I wasn’t fat, I was just healthy. Take my advice, don’t let people lie to you like that. The sooner you own it, the better. Some people are prejudice against fat people. They assume that we are lazy and have no will power. I am not going to even address that at this time, but trust me; I am a very hard worker despite living with chronic pain on a daily basis. As for willpower, maybe I am lacking in that area. Who knows?

I have decided to pursue weight loss surgery and I plan to chronicle my journey here. The goal is to help anyone else who may be obese and suffering from some of the same issues I have. Once I find my digital camera, I hope to start photographing every morsel of food that goes in my mouth, so that I can feel like I have people to be accountable to. I will also chronicle my weight loss journey through photos.
Some people see weight loss surgery as taking the easy way out. I see it as a life preserver. I suffer from the following health issues. Some of these conditions/diseases have contributed to my obesity; some are made worse by it. Some will be helped by weight loss and some will not.

Uterine Fibroids
Polycystic ovary syndrome
Hidradenitis suppurativa
Polyarthritis (autoimmune)
Nervous bladder
High blood pressure
Pulsitile tinnitus
Fibromyalgia syndrome
Chronic back pain
Sebhorriec dermatitis
Acanthrosis nigricans

I think that is the full list. I will also write posts in the near future about how some of these conditions have affected my life, in hope that someone will find this information helpful. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. Chronic health issues can be very isolating, especially when you have no one who can relate to what you are going through. I just hope these posts help.