The last tango

For the last month or so, I have felt the need to say goodbye to some things. All of which are certain foods. I know that once I have the gastric bypass, the real work begins.

This is a life line. A tool. A chance. I plan to take it very seriously, but as the saying goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." And I have the best intentions.

I have no doubt that this is the right thing to do. The only thing I doubt is me. I have lied to myself and made excuses so long I can't honestly tell if I believe in me anymore. I would like to say that I have reached the point where enough is enough. And it is. But is that enough?

I know that some of these doubts are fueled by fear. Some are a result of my track record. Some by all of the stress in my life right now.

I am scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. Once the surgeon is done, I know that it will my turn to pick up the scalpel to carve out a new life for myself.